Master Your Bliss Life

Narrator: 

You’re listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.

Lia:

Sounds fantastic. We’re here, we’re doing it. Thanksgiving.

Kiera:

Thanksgiving.

Lia:

I saw something the other day that was like, in the US we have a candy holiday, and then we have a pie holiday, then we have a cookies and candy holiday and we call it flu season. We should be calling it sugar poisoning season. It’s like, oh yeah. We’re lucky we, I mean I got lucky with Marshall my son, because he is not a big sweets person. We dumped out, like we literally threw away more than half his Halloween candy.

Kiera:

Oh, really?

Lia:

Yeah, he just, he doesn’t care. He loves fruit snacks. And we have a little portion, like a cup of ice cream after dinner. But that’s it.

Kiera:

Yeah, Alarek doesn’t have much either. I mean, he likes suckers and he likes fruit snacks. And it’s hit or miss with chocolate. Like sometimes he’s like, I don’t want chocolate. I’m like, ok. I love chocolate. More for me.

Lia:

You fool. Watch your sugar intake, drink lots of water today.

Kiera:

Yes.

Lia:

And take time – this episode is dropping on Thanksgiving. Take time to use this as an excuse to go and spend some time alone.

Kiera:

Yes.

Lia:

We all know that the holidays, whether you’re with all of the extended family plus, plus, plus, plus, or your just doing a friendsgiving. My son’s dad’s family call it the widows and orphans Thanksgiving. Because it’s just people who have… that’s what we’re doing this year, we’re doing the widows and orphans Thanksgiving.

Kiera:
Is it like people that don’t have families here around to do Thanksgiving and stuff?

Lia:

Yeah. Yeah. Like people who kind of, you know, like the awkward one-offs.

Kiera:

Yeah.

Lia:

Like I was talking to a guy the other day and he was saying that he’s probably going to spend Thanksgiving alone because it’s his kid’s holiday with their mom, and it’s also all of his sibling’s holidays with their in-laws.

Kiera:

Yes.

Lia:

So it’s like, there’s no family getting together for him to go hang out with. And he’s like, I don’t want to be that guy that’s like the sad, single brother-in-law that comes to the… And I’m like, I get it.

Kiera:

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to do that either.

Lia:

But for that specific reason I’m hosting the widows and orphans Thanksgiving. Like I think my mom and my sister, maybe my sister’s friend, one of my friends, I think my mom’s bringing a friend. Like it’s just a bunch of random people.

Kiera:

Yeah.

Lia:

And my mom is the the most extra when it comes to the holidays.

Kiera:

I <inaudible> the other day.

Lia:

The most. The most extra, which is where did I get it from? She’s not an extra person, like you meet her, she’s very very plain Jane. She is all about practicality, she’s a librarian for God’s sake. Like, that stereotype.

Kiera:

Yes, that explains it all. But…

Lia:

But, when it comes to the holidays, extra. And so we’re talking about the food.

Kiera:

Over the top.

Lia:

And so it’s like, turkey, and ham, and this, and that, and I’m like, Mom.

Kiera:

All the things.

Lia:

There are only like five people, it’s fine. But, so we’re having the widow’s and orphans holiday. But, Kiera, you’ve got a huge family in town, right?

Kiera:

Yes. Yeah, I have family come in town for Thanksgiving from everywhere. And it’s the extended, extended family. We get together and spend Thanksgiving together. But, this year, you know I’m in a relationship now and I’ve been in it for two years. And I haven’t done this in a while where I’ve had to figure out the different family’s…

Lia:

Like, in-laws basically.

Kiera:

Yeah the in-law. And so, we were trying to figure that out. Like, what do we do? Do we try to split it and go to one and then next year go to the other? Like, what do we want to do? But when it comes to his family, his dad just moved back. And they have not had a whole Thanksgiving, a family Thanksgiving together in almost 10 years.

Lia:

Oh, wow.

Kiera:

And so it’s very important for him to go to that one. But fortunately, my family starts Thanksgiving at like, 2:00.

Lia:

Nice.

Kiera:

So, um, bar opens at 2, dinner at 3, and then his is probably going to be around 5 or 6. So…

Lia:

You’ve got time.

Kiera:

We get to spend a good amount of time with both of our families. And it’s, with both sides, it’s going to be everybody.

Lia:

And when Kiera says bar opens at 2, that’s the bar in her parent’s house.

Kiera:

Yeah, the bar at my parent’s house.

Lia:

Yes.

Kiera:

Yep, bar opens at 2, family comes, we all have some drinks, then we all eat some food.

Lia:

And her dad is the greatest bartender.

Kiera:

He is. We’ll probably have some chocolate martini’s.

Lia:

Excellent, I’ll be right over.

Kiera:

Ok, come on over. When does yours start? Come over and have a chocolate martini and then head back home.

Lia:

Oh, gosh. We’re basically doing like football and smorgasbord, so I’m just going to be cooking food that just like… this is now ready. Like, sweet potatoes are ready now. Ok, the brussel sprouts are ready now. Ok, turkey’s ready now. I mean, the way that I like to eat is just grazing. And so if it’s 15 courses, so be it. And we’ll just do soup, and then a veggie, and then maybe we’ll do like the turkey and sweet potatoes all together, but really that’s going to be the extent of it.

Kiera:

My family does it all together. Everybody is assigned a side, or a dessert, and then everybody shows up with those. My mom usually cooks the turkey or the ham, whichever… I think we usually do turkey on Thanksgiving and ham on Christmas Eve.

Lia:

I’m just not a big turkey person, so.

Kiera:

And see, I’m not a big ham person.

Lia:

Oh, well there ya go.

Kiera:

So when Christmas comes and we do ham I’m like <crying sound>.

Lia:

Why don’t you just do salmon? There’s no rules. There’s no rules.

Kiera:

Switch it up, it’s fine.

Lia:

It’s fine.

Kiera:

It’s not what it’s about, though. It’s not supposed to be what it’s about, is the food. It’s coming together and…

Lia:

As a family.

Kiera:

As a family, or friends, or whatever it is. And being grateful for those relationships.

Lia:

Yes. And we are deeply grateful for those relationships. Yes, you were going to say there are some…

Keira:

There are some family members, friends or whatever that might be there, mostly family members that will be there that are hard to be around.

Lia:

Hard to be around. So how do you deal with hard to be around family?

Kiera:

Yes.

Lia:

I think, it’s one of those like, the age old… because it’s the balance between holding your own boundaries, especially when it comes to politics.

Kiera:

Yes, that’s just what I was going to say is as long as everybody can keep their politics off the table on Thanksgiving, or the big holidays, it’s pretty good.

Lia:

Politics and religion, keep it to yourself. Keep it the fuck to yourself, uncle whoever.

Kiera:

Yes. You want to talk about it any other time, that’s fine, but on big holiday get togethers we’re supposed to be grateful for each other and come together and celebrate and have a great time. Zip it.

Lia:

Zip it. Not everyone is going to adhere to that rule.

Kiera:

Nope.

Lia:

So how do you protect your energy while also not creating more, like, not adding to the chaos? Because there’s so many times that, you know, crazy religious aunty, or overly political uncle, is going to pop off and you want to clap back. It is burning within you, the desire to clap back. So, how do you protect your energy without adding to the chaos and the malcontent? As it were. Basically, this is what I tell my son, if someone’s bothering you, what do you do? Walk away.

Kiera:

Walk away.

Lia:

Today is your day… normally I’m the type of person that’s like, be the reason that when they fuck around they also find out. Like, be that find out for somebody. Choose violence. That’s normally how I operate. But today, you are the bigger person. You do not have to put yourself into a scenario where you are going to feel uncomfortable. You are completely allowed, and repeat after me: I’m not having this conversation. Walk away.

Kiera:

Yep.

Lia:

I’m not having this conversation with you. I’m not having this conversation with you. You know, I don’t feel comfortable having this conversation with you right now.

Kiera:

How about we save this for another day? Let’s go have a drink.

Lia:

Let’s talk about this later. It’s inappropriate for a family get together. And if they keep coming, remove yourself. This is the time where, and maybe there’s nowhere to remove yourself to… there’s always a cousins table, there’s always your mom, you can go play with the kids. You don’t have to…

Kiera:

You can always find an out.

Lia:

You can always find an out. And it comes down to, and if those relatives, if that aunty and uncle are going to give you grief for it, remind yourself that your peace is more important than someone else’s comfort. You do not have to take it on the chin to save the comfort of other people in the room. You can just walk away. You can eliminate yourself from these conversations. Now, I would suggest having any number of topics of conversation at the ready, that you can bring up. Probably not any global events, I’d steer clear of those today.

Kiera:

Yeah.

Lia:

I’m all about your social cause. I highly suggest that you get a social cause. Only one social cause please. We’ll get into that a different day. We’ve got some thoughts about that. Stick to one.

Kiera:

Stick to one.

Lia:

But, you don’t need to bring things up. You don’t need to hurt people’s feelings. But you can talk about, where would you vacation? And it really, what’s the saying, that like small minded people talk about people, and expansive minded people talk about ideas? Talk about ideas. Talk about, you know, ask your grandparents how they met. Ask your grandma about the most romantic date your grandpa ever took her on. Ask your aunty about her prom. Really talk about these ideas and these concepts. Get people to wax poetic and reminisce. Because that is what it’s all about. Hey, you know, when you were my age, what was the song – THE song – that got you guys bumping? Because the holidays are about family and gratitude. And the thing about humans, is that… and I get this from one of my favorite TV shows… but we are all stories in the end.

Kiera:

Yes.

Lia:

At the end of the day we are all just stories. And giving someone the opportunity to share their story and feel heard is the greatest gift you could give someone on a family oriented holiday.

Kiera:

Yep.

Lia:

To make them feel seen, and heard, and important, and to remember times that are long since gone but that filled them with joy.

Kiera:

And they find that more gratitude.

Lia:

Yeah. And so, listening doesn’t cost you anything. You’re stuck here anyway.

Kiera:

Yep.

Lia:

Right? Unless you’re not, go, get out. But, you’re here at this event, whether it’s with your friends, whether it’s with your family, whether it’s with a combination of people. If you are doing an orphans and widows holiday, what better time to ask people about their favorite stories of themselves.

Kiera:

Right.

Lia:

And so that’s how you get through it. You don’t have to talk about the here and now. You talk about the things that light you up. You know, what was the first car you had? Or, you know, what was your first heartbreak like? Any dating advice grandma? Ask the aunties. I feel like the aunties always have like insane dating advice. I will be that aunty.

Kiera:

<inaudible>

Lia:

<inaudible> to have kids. I feel like I’m the greatest aunty, but I’m the only mom. So it probably doesn’t work out.

Kiera:

Yeah, but you’re an aunty to my son.

Lia:

That’s true. And I will give him psycho dating advice. Oh man.

Kiera:

That’s great.

Lia:

It’s going to be amazing. Remember that every, like, take time and remember the people that piss you off, especially around the holidays it gives us all stress. Those people, like, have joy. They also have sorrow. And so, steer it away from…

Kiera:

The negative.

Lia:

Yeah, the combat. And steer it towards the reminiscing, cuz that’s going to make all the difference.

Kiera:

Absolutely.

Lia:

I think, Kiera what was your first car?

Kiera:

My first car was a Ford Probe. It was like a teal green.

Lia:

I’ve never even heard of that.

Kiera:

A Ford Probe. A ‘96 Ford Probe and I loved it.

Lia:

Cute.

Kiera:

It was the only stick shift, manual, that I ever had. And I was like, I am learning to drive a stick for my first car.

Lia:

Yes.

Kiera:

And I did it. And I actually miss driving a manual. They don’t really make them much anymore. Unless you get some like, crazy race car. You know?

Lia:

Right? Well because electric cars don’t really have manual. Wouldn’t that be funny. My first car was a ‘92 Saturn coupe.

Kiera:

Nice. See I’ve heard of that.

Lia:

And it was a manual. And then I had a Bronco. An old ass Bronco that my boyfriend bought for me because he wrecked my first car.

Kiera:

Oh awesome.

Lia:

Awesome, thank you. So he bought me this Bronco, and the stick shift would pop out. Like, if you pulled on it, it would detach itself, and it was just loose, wiggling around. So you had to get it back in the hole to shift again. Oh my God it was so funny.

Kiera
Oh my God. I would freak out.

Lia:

It was awesome. And it was a good time. And we tore it up in that car. But, good times.

Kiera:

Good times.

Lia:

See? And that, these are the kinds of stories that people… I don’t want to talk to you about the Iranian conflict right now.

Kiera:

Yeah.

Lia:

I have my own thoughts and opinions. No, I don’t want to talk to you about the elections. Please, for the love of God, do not talk about the elections.

Kiera:

Right?

Lia:

That’s not what we’re here for.

Kiera:

It’s like, why do they put it around this time of year anyway? I mean, they put it around the holidays that you’re supposed to be grateful, thankful, spending so much time with family. You know, it’s like. 

Lia:

But it’s like at the top of everyone’s mind because it’s this time of year.

Kiera:

Yes. It’s like, can we maybe just move this to like, March?

Lia:

Yeah, March.

Kiera:

March sounds perfect. I mean we’ve got St. Patrick’s Day, but you know, everyone’s just going to be toasted drinking green beer and like just whatever.

Lia:

Right? Like, March/April. But I guess then there’s Easter. So, there’s no winning.

Kiera:

Yeah, no Easter. February/March.

Lia:

Yeah, we’ll see.

Kiera:

Perfect. And it’s right between our two birthdays, you know?

Lia:

Excellante, yes. Birthdays. So, take it easy today. Use this podcast as an opportunity to take some alone time. Put your headphones in. Go find a quiet space and hang out with us for a minute. We love you, you’re going to make it. Eat the pie. Watch your sugar intake. Eat some vegetables not dripping in butter.

Kiera:

That’s pretty hard.

Lia:

I’m just saying that because I just don’t want anyone to feel yucky.

Kiera:

I, I mean, that’s, I mean, Thanksgiving. It’s usually like, for my family: drinks, bond, talk, reminisce, eat food, get so stuffed that we’re all just sitting on the couch with huge bellies watching football, and then half of us pass out snoring, and then we wake up and everyone goes home.

Lia:

Yes. Perfect. That sounds like the perfect day. We will be doing a lot of football. That’s pretty much it. I’ve got to figure out how to get the footballs on my TV, but I’ll figure it out.

Kiera:

You’ve got this. I have faith in you.

Lia:

Alright, fam. Love you long time. Love you forever. See you real soon.

Kiera:

Bye.

Narrator: 

You have been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show notes for any relevant links and follow Kiera and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.